How do you get motivated?
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Motivation is beginning to perplex me!
Growing up I was VERY motivated. I was competitive and a hard worker.
I find it a little more difficult to be motivated now as an adult. As a kid I had a driving force behind my motivation-soccer, track, basketball, etc. But soccer was my everything, and I was successful, which continued to motivate me to be even better.
There were girls in my neighborhood who, how should I say this, were mean. One girl in particular was a total B-otch (It wouldn’t surprise me if she were still a mean person to this day). She played soccer too and I was more motivated then ever to put it all out there on the field when I played against her. This girl’s mom liked to tell my mom that I wasn’t any good, and I shouldn’t even be playing on the team, etc, whatever!
It never intimated me. Infact it did the exact opposite. If we were trying out for the same team I would make sure I ran faster, harder and longer then her (and the other girls too, but especially her). Just to give her a message that I didn’t care how mean she was or what she did/said to me, I wasn’t going to let her get to me.
There’s something about that 16 year old me that I admire.
When I was 12 I tried out for the state ODP team, but I didn’t make it. I went to the first practice and asked the coach if I could work out with the team and he said sure! I look back and think about the guts and determination it would take me to ever do something like that now…but for me at 12 it was nothing. It was just something I had to do
“What’s the worst that could happen?” my dad would always say
“They will tell you no.”
My dad taught me motivation. He taught me to figure it out and fight for it.
So how can I get my inner fearless 16 year old back again?
I am amazed at how almost scared I am to put myself out there. I don’t get it. I had never been afraid of failure before, but now I am. Especially if other people know about it.
What’s the deal?
It is not fun to live this way.
That girl I grew up with would intimidate me now, I would let her push me down and make me believe I wasn’t good enough. That’s not the girl my dad raised, and that’s not the child I want to raise.
So how can I bring that motivation back?
I want that determination again.
I crave it!!!
Right now I don’t feel like there’s anything I’m really good at.
I don’t play competitive soccer anymore, so I don’t have a state championship, or a tryout to show me how far I’ve come.
Have you ever heard of Jon Gordon?
He’s awesome, and has great ideas
MY FAVORITE is Will Smith’s Secret to Success…
Here’s what he says:
“I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked. You may be more talented than me. You might be smarter than me. And you may be better looking than me. But if we get on a treadmill together you are going to get off first or I’m going to die. It’s really that simple. I’m not going to be outworked.”
But what about his talent you might ask. After all, he is charismatic, funny and a great actor. Isn’t that the reason for his success? Not according to Will Smith. In fact he considers himself to be slightly above average in the talent category. Rather, he attributes his success to his work ethic.
We overestimate their talent and we underestimate our own.
I found that people such as Will Smith are not super human… What makes them stand out is that they work harder. It’s really that simple. When others are wasting time, they are improving. When others are scattering their energy they are practicing and zoom focusing.
Of course talent is necessary to excel at something but natural ability will only take someone so far. The key is to infuse one’s talent with hard work, passion and a drive for excellence.
…You must be willing to pay the price that greatness requires. You must be willing to work harder than everyone you know. There’s no easy shortcut. Hard Work has been, is and always will be the key to anyone’s success. To be your best you must invest all that you are to become everything you wish to be.
you can find the full article here
So what have I learned?
I need boundaries. I need guidelines.
When the doctor told me I couldn’t eat dairy I completely cut dairy out of my diet I stopped eating it cold turkey! I’m not talking just milk, yogurt and cheese. Everything has dairy in it…crackers, dressings, soups, sandwiches, everything. For 3 months I did this because I had to for my son!
If I wanted to loose weight and decided not to eat dairy it wouldn’t last because fortunately (and unfortunately for my motivation) I don’t need to loose weight. Could I get more toned, absolutely. But I don’t HAVE to get more toned.
Do you see what I mean?
If my doctor said, you have to strengthen your core before you can have another baby I would do it! No questions asked. Because I have to.
I don’t have a focus right now…and I need one. I’ve been looking in a million directions to find a focus, now I just need to pick one.
What’s your motivation?
What’s your focus?
Hilary, thank you for this post. I think you are very outspoken and friendly, not shy. I feel the same way. I used to be so loud and funny and easily made friends and now I’ve become this anxious, awkward person who can’t find a friend who really relates to me to save my life. I have an extremely hard time putting myself out there and if I were to guess, I would say that most people think I am not a very approachable person, but it’s not because I don’t want to talk to anyone, it’s because I forgot how to be spunky and socialize! It’s been very difficult for me because I feel like I have tried so hard to try to make friends in my neighborhood/ward, but we just don’t CLICK. Conversations are so hard and I am so polar opposite from everyone that it’s almost painful to think of things to talk to them about. I don’t know what the solution is, but I just wanted to say that I feel for you. I have felt pretty lonely at times because although Zack is my best friend, I think it’s important for everyone to have a social life outside of your spouse and that’s something I’ve been really lacking. Not sure if you feel that way or not! You and I have a very similar personality where we can be very determined, but only when we want to be. I am by no means someone to take advice from on motivation, but I honestly think you’d be great at taking your love of exercise and being a little more competitive with it. I have found that running for me has become my new replacement for what the thrill of playing soccer gave me. You should run more races. You are very fit and might feel good setting yourself goals by training for and doing a race. Even before I had Harper I told myself that my goal was to hurry and train for the SLC half and do it, even if I had to drag my body across the finish line! Well, I survived and not only did I survive but I even surprised myself how good I felt afterwards! If not running, then perhaps you should focus your efforts on starting a new hobby and becoming really good at it like biking, but from what I can tell you’ve already done that and are a great cook!! I’m completely off subject, but thanks for letting me express myself! It’s kinda hard to these days. When you find out how to put yourself out there, could ya give me your secret?!?!
Kristen I’m glad I’m not the only one, haha. But I’m sorry it’s hard for you to fit into your neighborhood/ward! That’s SO hard. That’s one scary thing about buying a house-or moving away from a great neighborhood! Luckily Cory’s approachable. But I hear ya on needing friends. I think us girls graduated HS and after a time kind of said peace out and all went our separate ways-then we figured out we really did need and did want good girlfriends…that’s why we started getting together every couple months at Kristen’s parents house. Anyway, thanks for your comment, you’re such a sweetheart! Thanks HEAVENS for such great guys in our lives…seriously, I can’t imagine being married to someone who didn’t love me just the way I am, yet he pushes me to become the person he knows I want to become. So grateful! Love you girl! I’m coming home in September, we need to have a get together!!!
Me! Ha come workout with me! Love that I am on the couch with a bag of chips while reading this!